- I feel tired... and tired of feeling tired. I think I used to have a lot more energy and just feel like a slug every night. I try to be energetic for the kids, but some afternoons I just have to check out and close my eyes. I know I'm pregnant and all, but I think it's more than that and I'm afraid the high-energy Melanie may not come back-- let's hope not because I can tell it's affecting my mood and happiness. I'm sure it will come back, but just not sure when...
- continuing with the blah...I feel so UNCREATIVE lately!! I'm sure this is linked to the above thought, but I feel like all my creative juices have just flown right down the drain and I am in a funk. I used to be somewhat crafty and have done some fun projects, but I really don't have any motivation or desire to do that right now. Actually, I think about things I would like to do a lot, but then it seems like such a pain to go all the way to the fabric/craft store etc.- how pathetic is that? Maybe the Holidays will get me going again, or maybe I'll just buy the gifts this year :)
-why do kids love to talk potty talk?? they think it is so funny (well, so do many members of my family- Mindy and Scott!) but I don't get the humor. I try to let them be kids and not just get mad when they are going on and on about potty, bums, poop, toilets, booties etc. but when is enough enough!! I wonder if I did this when I was little?? let's hope it's phase...but I doubt it
- I love being pregnant but am really getting a lot bigger these last two weeks or so. The book said this is the "rapid growth phase" but, come on? I went to a class at the gym tonight and picked a nice little spot where I couldn't really see the mirrors--i love going to the gym and will continue to go, but on nights like these (where I'm in kind of a bad mood) I didn't really love seeing all the super-fit gym girlies-- i came home and ate a nice handful of peanut m&m's and felt much happier (how dumb is that!)
- I am really looking forward to being in UT for Christmas this year! We arrive the night of my mom's side of the family's big Christmas party where I get to see all my cousins and eat lots of my favorite food and then all the Francis Family gets to be together for all of Christmas Eve this year and I am so excited for that! I don't like packing for trips, but I sure love taking them!
-I think one reason I am looking forward to this trip so much is to get a little break from my calling. I'm not going to go into any details here, but let's just say I've been a little busy and stressed with some situations and SO MANY PHONECALLS! I truly do enjoy and appreciate this calling right now and I have SO MUCH RESPECT for the ladies that have done it much longer than me, but am just grateful for this little break and I think I will come back feeling refreshed and ready to face the music :)
- i love the computer, but also feel like I am letting it suck some of my life away. that's probably part off my problem with the 'lack of creativity thing' ...interesting.
- i have GREAT friends-- we had an Enrichment last week about "Social Preparedness" and it made me realize again how fortunate I am to have so many wonderful people in my life- family and friends. I am motivated to be a better person by all the examples and different strengths of my friends (and fam) and just love ya'll to pieces!
- Dave is such an interesting person to live with and sometimes I wish I could just have a little camera on all day so others could see what I do...he makes me crazy at times but then just makes my laugh without trying so many other times because he is so unique in his thoughts--and is not afraid to share them. If you know Dave...you know what I mean! good times.
I think I am done for a bit and do feel much better. I just needed a little "venting of the thoughts" session. Although there is so much more to say, I am tired and need to get some things done tonight. So if you read this, thanks for listening and if not, I'll never know it so no sweat. Have a good night- Melanie
12 comments:
so I just read your blog thinking to myself " uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, me too, me too". I don't know what it is but I have been EXHAUSTED lately! Every minute of everyday I want to be sleeping. I also feel as if the computer sucks life out of me, which is frusturating...when I'm home I'm obsessed with my email, which doesn't make sense because when I'm not home I couldn't care less about who is emailing me. I can't wait to be in Utah! It's coming up so soon! I love you Mel. Thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate other's venting sessions. It reminds me that I'm not the only one in a funk....and that we are all only human. Love you. :)
The exhaustion and blah are totally pregnancy. I am sure of it. It will pass! I can't imagine it not.
Can't wait to see you in Utah, I need to get Matt organized so we can be sure to see some people while we are out there!
CONGRATULATIONS!! I had no idea that you were pregnant! How far along are you? That's very exciting. It will all be back to "normal" soon :) Let me just say that my 3rd pregnancy I was TIRED ALL THE TIME . . . which then made me grouchy . . . I however, DON'T like being pregnant.
Make no mistake . . . YOU STILL LOOK FABULOUS!
Oh, and congratulations on the fellowship. Can you believe you are almost done!
Loved your post. Reminded me of exactly how I felt for ALL of August and September. Blah. I felt like a zombie. And every time I had to plan something for young women I would dread it because I was so tired, grumpy, and lacking in creative ideas. It was awful. I told Mike, in retrospect, that August was the worst month of my entire life. ha ha. I feel your pain. Not now, though. I don't remember when I started feeling like me again, but I do. I'm sure you will, too. Love you to death!
oh you sweet girl. first of all, CONGRATS on the fellowship! I'm so bummed that we moved away and now you're going there! we were only about 3 hours south of there, but it's an easy trip. if you can make it, you NEED to head down to San Luis Obispo-so beautiful!
second-I'm so sorry you're feeling so down! I know it might sound corny, but those positive thinking mantras actually really work. Just have a few that you repeat to yourself throughout the day. although there's so much focus on post partum depression, studies show that it's actually really prevalent during pregnancy, so don't feel like you're weird for feeling those blahs. I hope you're able to feel better soon-I'll be thinking of you!
how long will you be in utah for christmas? I just ran into Rachel Sandberg and Aimee Augustus from the old ward-might be fun to have a get together! but I understand the stress of a short vacay with family, so if you can't no big deal.
k, now I'm done with my epilogue.
was epilogue the right word for that? I'm thinking not.
Just read your post. I feel bad I past up watching a movie w/you tonight to make sure I went to the gym for the day. Sorry. As I read I thought, "oh, that was me from september-lately" and I keep telling Rob that I want to take a sabbatical from everything; church calling, work, church calling, being dependable, etc. I think the vacation will help. I am counting down to ours for the very same reason, a break from it all. Don't worry, it will get better. At least I keep trying to tell myself that anyway. I luv ya and am here if you still need those brownies!!
I love you girl...we just need some of our american idol nights again. I know I do. My camera is a Nikon D/40 and I love it, although there is another one on my wish list now, I want the Nikon D/90 or Nikon D/3000. Nikon comes with a program that helps me edit my photos, I haven't quite made it to photoshop...someday! Anyway, love you girl, I know things are crazy when you come to utah, but I'm in town, so don't hesitate to give me a quick call or email.
Hey Mel,
I'm glad to know you're normal - I was beginning to wonder if you were Super-Woman in disguise. Thanks for sharing your feelings. Don't worry about the creativity. It is all taking place in your womb right now. That's the ultimate creative endeavor. The other stuff is just worldly "fluff." Nap often and nurture yourself! You're a child of God, too, ya know! Love you, darlin'!
thank you everyone!!! It is so nice to know that you understand and relate... it helps me feel like things will pick up and just so nice to know you're out there :) Love you much!!!
thanks for your thoughts. i agree that is nice to know that you are human. it makes me feel better about my blah-ness (which there is a lot of lately too). I hope Christmas in Utah leaves you refreshed. Everyone needs a break sometimes.
Melanie! I don't know what to say other than I completely empathize. Please let me have the kids, or come over this week and make pilgirm hat and turkey cookies with the kids! It would be good for everyone!
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